Keep Your Hand On That Plow

Keep Your Hand On That Plow
Keep Your Hand On That Plow

Friday, January 28, 2011

Revisiting and Revising the Anniversary Gifts List


Recently I celebrated a wedding anniversary with my wife and it got me thinking about the lists of gifts associated with different anniversaries. The practice of associating specific items like silver with the twenty-fifth anniversary is quite old in Europe and certainly started before the modern era. A quick glance at the list shows you that some items are no longer practical: you can’t really give ivory anymore after all. For that matter, just try giving your wife tin at your tenth anniversary and see how that goes over.
On the web you can find a pretty good explanation of the history of these gift associations at About.com http://marriage.about.com/od/anniversariescelebrations/a/annivhistory.htm. The upshot is that Emily Post listed some of these and the current lists are attributed to compilers at the Chicago Public Library. The Modern list, as you might guess from a study of it, is the invention of the trade association of jewelers in the US back in the 1930s. It too is out of date and, of course, emphasizes jewelry.
So, I propose a new list for the twenty-first century. It assumes affluence tastes but so did the traditional list.

Traditional                 Modern                      Jim’s 21st Century
1st Paper                    Clocks                         Smart phone
2nd Cotton                 China                           Gore-tex         
3rd Leather                Crystal                          Espresso maker
4th Fruit, flowers        Appliances                    Kayak
5th Wood                  Silverware                     Trip to Peru
6th Sugar                   Wood                           Antiques
7th Copper, wool       Desk Sets                     Sub-zero Fridge
8th Bronze, pottery    Linens or Lace               Calaphon set
9th Pottery, willow     Leather                          Leather furniture
10th Tin                     Diamond                       Sub-zero fridge
11th Steel                  Jewelry                          Feng Sui consultation
12th Silk, linen           Pearls                            Viking range
13th Lace                  Textiles or Furs              Catamaran
14th Ivory                  Gold Jewelry                 Home renovation
15th Crystal               Watches                        Plastic surgery
20th China                  Platinum                        College Tuition
25th Silver                  Silver                            College Tuition
30th Pearl                   Diamond                       College Tuition
35th Coral                  Jade                              Jade – Jade is cool
40th Ruby                   Ruby                             Viagra
45th Sapphire             Sapphire                        European cruise
50th Gold                   Gold                              Hip Replacement
60th Diamond             Diamond                        Headstone
                                               
I don’t mean to throw cold water on things with my headstone choice but let’s be practical. In the 21st century most Americans marry in their mid to late twenties. So taking the median male age of slightly over 27 years – you are really not interested in a diamond at the 60th anniversary party so much as a practical stone of a completely different sort.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Deep South Dispatch #3: Of Golf and Gators

On Golf
In an ill-fated moment of adulthood I decided to take up golf. I should have known better. My father used to say that every golf course was a waste of a good pasture. My father-in-law  who tried to get a round a week all year long immediately warned me: "golf is a cruel mistress." A few years of pursuing the sport and, well, I can now say I know the truth of that axiom. The cruelest part of golf is that it is a bit like gambling. Every now and then you roll double sevens and it feels so good you have come back.

On Gators
I don't remember how old I was the first time I saw an alligator. They lived in the ponds of the plantation that surrounds our family farm. They lived in the neighboring Salkehatchie Swamp. To me a swamp without a gator population is no swamp at all. When I think alligators I recall with a certain nostalgia the one I nearly ran-over in the wee hours of the morning while driving home from the Charleston airport having just returned from France. There I am skidding to a complete stop with my headlamps lighting up the big fella shuffling across River Road in Beaufort County.  I thought to myself: Monsieur we are not Paris anymore.


Golf and Gators
Golf and gators come together these days everywhere within Alligator mississippiensis's range. So in a pretty good swath of the coastal Deep South you find gators putting the hazard in water hazard. In a recent story from The Coastal Observer they recount how 83 year-old golfer Galer Wright wound his way to the conclusion of a round at the Heritage Plantation course at Pawley's Island in October 2010. On the 18th hole Wright hit his approach short and his ball arced toward the pond protecting the green when - thunk - his ball bounced off a sunning gator and plunked down on the green leaving him a twenty-foot lag putt to the hole. Sadly, he three-putted.

The gator took no offense at the intrusion and stayed as he had been.